A conversation with Avril Lavigne

avril-lavigne-639-1511I had an imaginary conversation with Avril Lavigne.  Turns out, she’s not very helpful.

Steena – My calves been been all wacky and sore lately

Avril – What the hell

Steena – It’s causing me to neglect swimming

Avril – What the hell

Steena – I didn’t strength train last week either

Avril – WHAT THE HELL?

Steena – Is that all you’re going to say?

Avril – Whatever.  Do you have any eyeliner I can borrow?

Steena – WHAT THE HELL, no.

Avril – Chill.  Maybe you’d feel better if I played a song for you

Steena – Probably not.  Some of your songs are a guilty pleasure on my playlist, but I’ve seen you live once, and it hurt my ears.  Anyway, I’m spazzing out, I’m stretching, foam-rolling, wearing compression sleeves, why are my calves being all wonky?

Avril – HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, NO WAY, NO WAY, I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE…

Steena – Holy shit.  Stop now please.

Avril – HEY HEY YOU YOU I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE ME, NO WAY NO WAY YOU KNOW IT’S NOT A SECRET..

Steena – If my calves weren’t so sore I’d kick you.

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10 thoughts on “A conversation with Avril Lavigne

  1. You’d think she’d have more sympathy for your situation. Stupid self-centered new-wave pseudo-goth pop. 😉 (Incidentally, I just heard her cover of Alice (Underground) today and was sadly disappointed. I was hoping for at least a fun pop diddy…)

  2. Are they crampy/charlie horse type sore? I’ve had two bad episodes with this. The culprit? Drinking too much water without balancing electrolytes. I was perfectly well hydrated, but my muscles couldn’t retain water because of lack of electrolytes, causing cramps and soreness! I started adding GU electrolyte tabs to my water at work and watching my diet for sodium, potassium, calcium and magnesium. Cleared up perfectly both times!

    • I get that in the pool, yes, where I’ll have to stop swimming and stand there until it passes.
      I think I do a pretty good job of electrolytes, I drink a bottle of Gatorade every day, banana in the morning, veggies during lunch.
      My calves hate me!

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