Have you ever been in a game of chess, or any strategy board game really, and found yourself in the last final moves of the game only to calculate that the moves that you have left will not win you the game? You’ve already lost, and there’s no point in finishing the game, unless you’re not a poor sport.
That sums up how I feel about my training for this marathon right now. With how it’s been going, I can already predict the outcome, and in horrible honesty, I want to quit. I see no point in going through with it, knowing what I’m capable of at this point.
I’ve never just up and quit in the middle of a long run, an important distance long run too. I had 18 on the plan and I gave up at mile 5.5, except that I was 6 miles from home, so I had to run 6 home, and then another half for good misery measure. Nothing hurt, it was a little hot, I just had no will to propel myself forward.
All of this is unfair to my marathon buddy Diana (HI DIANA, HI!!). I talked her into the Wisconsin Marathon, I joked that she’d have to carry me to the finish, and, well, that might just happen. With it being her first marathon I refuse to ruin it for her, she’s capable of a great 26.2 miles.
Naturally, I revisited what motivated me to get to the starting line of my past marathons. In 2010 my will to keep going was that I was training for my first marathon. Of course I wanted to keep going, no matter how hard it felt. In 2011 I was coming back from runner’s knee which kept me on the sofa for 4 months. Wanting to prove a doctor wrong about whether or not I should run Chicago Marathon kept me moving. This year….?
The point was to finish a marathon happy.
If I’m not training happy, how can I possibly finish happy?