… fearless

UntitledLike everyone else I know, the tragedy at the Boston Marathon on Monday pained me to the core. I have no words to describe it all. Sad, fear, pain, empathy, anger, distrust, drained… I spent my work day feeling for everyone affected by it. Then when I finally got off of work I got a voicemail telling me that my mom had a small stroke. If I could hit a “pause” button that day, I would have. Enough bad things for one day.

I called back, she’s okay. It was a small one, it’s manageable, she’s going to be okay. We chatted on the phone, she laughed, I laughed, I felt a lot lighter.  My little family will be okay.

But what about my extended family? You know, the entire running community. They mean a lot to me too. Their well-being and safety are as important as my immediate family. The amount of  love and support the running community shared through the social medias immediately after the bombing was incredible. It gave me a tiny bit of peace and was proof that we will remain strong and fearless.

Speaking of fear, I’ve been keeping something quiet. I’ve been quietly and tentatively training for a spring marathon. I kept it quiet out of fear. Silly, selfish fears that don’t need explaining at the moment. But I’m telling you now, world, I am running a spring marathon.

I’m going to run it to celebrate health, to celebrate freedom, to celebrate the running community, and to be fearless.

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11 thoughts on “… fearless

  1. Everything you said is everything I’ve been feeling as well. I want to feel better and I want normalcy, but we’re just not there. Even if I wasn’t in the Boston area, I would still be mourning as you are for our extended family.

    I’m glad your mother is doing OK. You’re right though, enough bad news for one day.

    I’m also running a Spring marathon, so will keep you in mind as I start my taper soon 🙂

  2. Yeah for a Spring Marathon! I really hope the weather changes it’s attitude for you soon…I’ll be excited to see how it goes 🙂

    And I hope your Mom is doing better and continues to improve. Hopefully you are close enough you are able to see her soon!

  3. Everything you say is so true. I was registered for Boston this year, and I was so looking forward to running this race but then got an injury and had to cancel my plans two weeks ago. Last Monday was a difficult day–in the morning I pondered the “should haves” but in the afternoon I had this odd feeling of being lucky (more for my family than myself) but at the same time thought I should have been there with all the other runners. I am not sure if that makes sense. But, I plan on running a spring marathon, probably the one at the great lake. Maybe that’s yours?

    • awww man, so sorry to hear about your situation, what a gut wrenching thing. Great that you’re safe, sorry that you were/are injured & couldn’t run it. It makes sense, a lot of “what-if” thoughts in all of our heads.
      Yes, I don’t know why I forgot to put that in the post, but I’m doing the full Wisconsin Marathon on 5/4 in Kenosha.

  4. I must have missed you but saw that you ran a very good race. You haven’t posted anything yet, so I’ll keep quiet. I look forward to hearing what you have to say.

    • 🙂 It’s been an exhausting, but way too nice out weekend, just haven’t had a chance to sit down & collect my thoughts, but I have all good things to say! I’ll get to it either Tuesday or Wednesday. Hope you had a great race too!

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